Steam Summer Sale: Part One

It's only $2...wait...HOW DID I SPEND ALL THE MONEY?

One of the things that I wanted to do with this blog was to not be limited by any one medium - films may be my forte, but I have opinions on loads of things! Why shouldn't I have a go at talking about things like video games?

That being said, I'm not the biggest gamer in the world. I don't know if I'm a "filthy casual," but I find I don't have the dedication to sink the hours needed to complete a game quickly enough to pump out a timely review.

The Steam Summer Sale is about midway through and I thought this would be a perfect moment to buy a load of cheap, smaller games.

Game one: Crusader Kings II.

Hours sunk: 5+

This is one that a friend has been trying to get me to play for a number of years. Created by Swedish studio Paradox Development, Crusader Kings II is one of the most insanely detailed, intricate games I've ever come across.

Set in the Middle Ages, the player chooses a historical figure from around Central Europe. These characters can be anybody from the lowliest count, ruling over a tiny set of villages in Ireland, all the way up to the Emperor of the Holy Roman Empire.

From there, the player proceeds to be assaulted by a bombardment of popup windows demanding decisions. You have an unmarried heir. You don't have an ambition. Peasants say the taxes are too high. The Pope says your tithe isn't high enough! There's a plot against one of your allies! THERE'S A PLOT AGAINST YOU! THE MUSLIMS ARE COMING! THE MONGOLS ARE COMING! THE VIKINGS ARE COMING! WHAT DO WE DO?!

You get the picture.

Not pictured: overwhelming panic

While this may be an exaggeration if you're the Count of Nowhere, ruling over some rocks and maybe one sheep, I can assure you it is the truth for the ruling class. It can be quite overwhelming and the tutorial, as helpful as it is, is quite dense and takes a lot of time to wade through. Also, who does tutorials? I'm king! Did Edward, the Black Prince need a tutorial? Did King Richard the Lionheart? Did Joffrey Baratheon? Wait, no...that last one wasn't real.

The thing Crusader Kings II does better than anything else I've seen is intricacy. During my first playthrough, I was a minor king of Spain. I managed to fight off a bunch of uprisings, invade a few territories (with minor repercussions) and even survive a couple of attempts on my life until I died. When your character dies, you switch to the oldest son. If you have no sons, you're the oldest daughter.

Sadly, I had split my territory up between my kids like any good father would do. So there was a schism. My entire kingdom split and now there were two kings and I'd lost half my kingdom to my little brother. Sigh.

CKII is a game for thinkers. It requires a lot of time and a lot of planning. It isn't action packed and the combat is fairly uninteresting, but "events" happen fairly regularly and a lot of decision-making is required.

It's also deceptively easy to lose track of time once you get the hang of it.

Three stars.

Game two: FTL - Faster Than Light.

Hours sunk: 15, apparently.

Created by indie developers Subset Games, FTL is fairly simple. You're the crew of a spaceship and you're trying to deliver some vital information to the Federation before the villainous Rebel Fleet catches up with you.

You don't take control of any one crew member, rather, you look down on the ship and decide where to allocate resources. Resources include crew, power, shields, weapons, drones and functions of the ship. You've got a certain amount of "jumps" and you can get more by getting into fights with pirates and hostile aliens and looting their ships. Simple? No. But also yes.

Floor plan for my new house. Robots included.

Crew members can be of numerous different races, each with their own perks. Some are energy beings, powering systems just by being nearby, letting you redirect the surplus where you see fit. Others are immune to fire, which makes them ideal when your ship is not looking so hot...or too hot. Fire puns. I'm unsure. 

To make it to the Federation, you have to jump through roughly a dozen galaxies. Each galaxy has maybe dozen points to visit. To make it all the way to the fleet takes about an hour.

FTL is luck-based. You might be able to plan for a certain amount of misfortune, but only the luck of the draw will decide whether you have enough missiles for the final fight. Or enough shielding. Or enough skilled crew. That makes the game beat-your-face-with-a-hammer frustrating, as I still haven't beaten it yet.

However, I still want to keep playing, mainly to prove those Rebel scum have nothing on the power of...my side. I wonder where my son is....

Three stars.

Game three: Hotline Miami

Hours sunk: 2

Holy crap. I didn't think 8-bit graphics could be so violent. Boy howdy, was I wrong.

Created by Dennaton Games, Hotline Miami is an ultra-violent psychedelic action game featuring an unnamed man slaughtering Russian mobsters in the 1980s.

Despite being having no audio other than the synth-heavy soundtrack, the game is intense. The first scene features a homeless man screaming how to use the controls while the unnamed man wanders around an alleyway. The second scene is the man talking to three people in masks, who give a very surreal set up to the first mission.

How violent can 8-bit really get...oh Jesus.

The pacing of the game is frantic. Most enemies will only take one hit to kill, and you can kill them in a variety of unpleasant ways, including bashing their faces against the floor, gunning them down or stabbing them. Unfortunately, you're limited by the same weakness.

My playing style has never been called "subtle." I'm the friend who will always go for the explosives in a multi-player match, so I died a lot. The save points are frequent and loading time is almost nonexistent, so it isn't too much of a pain. 

It reminds me of those old arcade games that kids weren't allowed to watch, and the machines were built with curtains around them so the older kids could play.

At the time of writing I'm only three missions in, but it's a lot of lunatic fun. Hotline Miami is bleak, violent and ultra-violent.

Four stars.

More tomorrow

Not the name of a game. I'm actually writing more tomorrow.